It'll happen one day: when you just don't think about it anymore
It'll happen: when eating is just eating and moving is just moving and you are just you.
It'll happen: when you fry onions in butter and dip chunks of crusty bread into golden globs of olive oil and lick the bowl once you've finished icing the cake and burn your tongue on the melted cheese on the top of the lasagne that you just can't wait to eat and all you'll think is
It'll happen: when you go a whole day without veggies and then another eating nothing but, for no other reason than you want to. When food is just food is just food and nothing is good or bad, clean or dirty, guilt-free or sinful. When each day, for its eating, is no better or worse than the last. Because now it's just eating, after all.
It'll happen: when lunch is made by someone else and you don't worry what's in the sauce. When you go out to breakfast and the people on the chairs around you are more interesting than the food on the table. When you don't search through the menu to scope out the 'safest' option.
It'll happen: when you work through lunch and when you leave your desk four, five, six times for snacks. When you forget to have breakfast, when you spend all day eating. When you won't traipse down every supermarket aisle looking for what fits today's plan and you'll just eat what you want. A sandwich. A salad. Peaches. Pizza. It's all the same. You'll listen to what your body wants and it'll make sense to you.
It'll happen: when you have seconds or thirds, just because it tastes too good. When you know when you're still hungry or too full. When you say no, and wrap the extra slice up in a napkin, sealed with the promise of tomorrow.
It'll happen: when you miss workouts because you're busy or tired or invited to last minute drinks with people you love and
It'll happen: when you move for the joy of it. When you run all the way up the hill. When you swim in the freezing cold sea. When you dance until the lights come on. When you go to that class, every week, without fail, when you get up early to stretch, when you get off the bus early to walk the rest of the way home, just because it feels good to move.
It'll happen: when you spend entire weekends on the sofa, duvet and popcorn for company, and you won't even think of the step counter. It'll happen: when you sleep better, when you don't wake up in the middle of the night with your tummy rumbling, when Sundays are for rest, not for planning battle for the week ahead.
It'll happen: when your brain has more space. When every thought isn't food or pounds on, inches off, points, numbers in, numbers out. When you are you again.
I was there, too, once. And for so long it didn't seem like it would, but it happened.